In this week’s The Subhash Chandra Show held in Assam, Shri Subhash Chandra interacts with students at the Royal Global University, Guwahati. The subject of discussion is ‘Is Aggressive Behaviour Progressive?’.
Introducing the topic Subhashji asks as question to the students: Is aggressive behaviour good or bad? Today, it has become commonplace for people to get irritated by little things and incidents. Negative thinking is a vicious cycle that leads to more negative thoughts and same old results.
Sharing his views on the topic after hearing out the different opinions of the members of the audience, Subhashji explains to the students that there is a difference in being aggressive and being angry. He says , “I feel there are two aspects of aggression, combative and doggedness, the latter sometimes brings anger and then we lose control. Anger can affect your decisions.”
“In combative aggression we cannot accept defeat and if ever we face failure we cannot be disappointed about it. We should recognize the reasons for this failure and analyze them and give it another try, keep trying with new zeal until you get success.” To be successful, one must channelize their aggressiveness in a positive way. He also focused on different ways to control anger.
The first guest on the show is Dr. Sangeeta Goswami, a counselling psychologist and president of MIND India, who further explains that anger and aggression are two different things; Anger is an emotion but aggression is a behaviour. In the two forms of aggression, anger is not found in combativeness but it’s in doggedness.
Sangeeta ji talks about the challenges she faces while counselling. She says, “It is a misconception that only ‘mad’ people come for counselling. In our scriptures, in the Srimad Bhagavad Gita too, it is a type of counselling itself when Bhagwan Shri Kirshna continues to guide Arjuna. We facilitate the process of thinking, but these days everyone wants a quick fix so people don’t spend much time reflecting.” She further speaks about why we get angry and ways to deal with anger and use it positively.
Subhashji adds, “We know that we that have to be belligerent and act by doing so with commitment. But our stubbornness or doggedness comes in between. And when both meet, then a disorder is created in the mind and it then takes the form of anger. The only way to change this is changing behavioural pattern. Assess your own shortcomings for change in behavior.”
On the topic of negativity linked to anger Subhashji says, “When you don’t get desired results, you get disappointed and you become negative. Once you get negative various other thoughts also join. A negative mind can never be successful. It is also dangerous to stay around negative people.” He urges everyone to surround ourselves with positive people.
Giving an example Subhashji says, “Usually, in organizations, we tend to focus more on people who are comparatively weak, who perform little less than giving due attention to those who excel. I believe we must look at those who perform excellently & give them more time to understand them, how they excel.”
Subhashji recalls a beautiful quote on anger by Swami Vivekananda ji and explains to the students how anger can make you a slave of your emotions.
The second guest on the show is change-maker Shri Miguel Das Queah. He has trained over 6000 children in Child Rights in Assam. He has rescued 280 child labourers, mainstreamed 250 out-of-school children & prevented 30 child marriages.
Subhashji talks to Miguel ji about his journey and how he deals with the aggression of the people who are breaking the law during rescue operations. Speaking on child abuse, Subhashji points out, “It is unfortunate that we suppress incidents of child sexual abuse. Parents do not talk to children about this topic. And if this incident has happened in a house then those people want to suppress it.”
Raising a valid point, a student from the audience asked, “All we hear these days is women empowerment or how to save girls from the things happening around them. But it can also happen then men may be on the right side of things at times? Why is it that seats are reserved for women – for instance – in buses?” Miguel ji explains the need for this, “For thousands of years women have been suppressed – socially, politically, economically – disempowered completely. So this seat that you see is to give that extra push ( in the movement towards equality).”
Subhashji says,” I believe women are stronger than men. I have seen my mother carry water in buckets in the hands and pots on the head, from over 500 meters away, to the house and also cook for 40-50 people. So, in what way does that seem weak? Men have, over years, kept saying that women are weaker and so that has conditioned the minds and the society too.”
In conclusion he says, “India has always respected women and encouraged their progress in every walk of life, whether it be a field of studies or about their safety and security. It is also a bitter truth that because of lack education and other reasons, there are incidents of domestic violence where men have gotten drunk and assaulted women. It is a problem we need to tackle in a different way. The man here is ‘sick’. We have to find a solution.”